Hogwarts Rejection Letters: Jbh14 Style
by jbh14
Summary: Everyone else seems to be giving this a go so I thought I'd take a shot at it. Across the multiverse there are many Harry Potters and a surprising number of them have refused to go to Hogwarts. Lets see why... (Many of these are from fics I've just never had the time to write)
1. Chapter 1

**Hogwarts Rejection Letters**

**Harry Takamachi**

Dear Professor McGonagall

I am afraid your offer has come a bit late as I am already enrolled at St Hilde Academy of Magic and have no intention of transferring away from my current school. Also I have been reliably informed that it would be unwise to attempt to learn both the Modern Belkan style of magic and the style your society practice at the same time.

Plus my adopted little sister Vivio would be _very_ upset if her 'Onii-san' had to move so far away for nine months of the year.

Perhaps at a later date when I complete my education here I could attend your school and learn more about your style of magic. Some of the higher ups in TSAB (Time-Space Administration Bureau) are very interested in a possible exchange of information between our two societies.

Sincerely

Harry James Potter-Takamachi

P.S. Nanoha-mama and Fate-mama are _very_ interested in meeting Albus Dumbledore and discussing his illegal placement of me with my Aunt and Uncle. I think they would like to 'befriend' him.

**Jbh14:** Had this idea for awhile, started writing some ideas and only now got round to editing them. Don't know how many of these I'll do or how regularly this will get updated. Basically If I have an idea for one, I'll write it and post it here. A number of these are from dead fics I never got around to finishing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hogwarts Rejection Letters**

**The Keyblade's Chosen **

To whom it may concern

I am afraid I cannot attend your school for magic as I am currently apprenticing under Master Yen-Sid and the wizard Merlin so as to master my powers as one of the keyblade's chosen.

Perhaps when Xehanort has finally been vanquished and Sora and Kairi finally get together (HARRY!) (snicker) and the worlds are finally put right then I may consider attending, but not before then.

Yours Sincerely

Harry James Potter

Apprentice Keyblade Wielder

Xahrry

Harry's Nobody (With a capital N!)


	3. Chapter 3

**Hogwarts Rejection Letters**

**The Velvet Child**

Dear Professor McGonagall

I am writing to officially decline the offer to attend your school known as Hogwarts. I have a fine magical education from aspects of Humanity far older than your society and have no desire to sit through seven years of knowledge I already know.

Perhaps on a more important note, my older sisters would quite like a word with your Headmaster and my brother Theo and I think it would only be polite to inform you will likely soon be getting a promotion. The reason we thought you deserved due warning is because you were the only person to object to my placement with the Dursley Family and I thank you for that even if you were rather unsuccessful.

Master Igor has informed me it is part of human nature to naturally listen to an Alpha or Leader which Wizarding Britain seems to have in Albus Dumbledore. Personally I this is a rather poor choice but oh well.

Just to be sure we are understood. My sisters Elizabeth and Margaret discovered me some years ago alone and injured in a park near to the Dursley residence after Dudley Dursley and his school friends had beaten and left me there. They were rather surprised I could see them as I was not a 'guest' but decided to help me regardless. After healing me up with one of Elizabeth's Persona, Pixie (a Persona is a manifestation of the human subconscious) they tried to return me to the Dursleys but Vernon was quite adamant I did not belong to them and even offered to sell me to Elizabeth and Margaret to which my sisters agreed, not wanting to leave me with them, after all what was ten thousand pounds other than loose change.

I had lived with my family and our Master Igor for nearly seven years and I see no reason why that needs to change. Any attempts to return me to the Dursleys or take me back to Britain will be met with death at the hands of my sisters and brother, if not at the hands of my own Persona, Thanatos.

Goodbye as I doubt you will ever hear from me again.

Harry Velvet (Formerly Potter)


	4. Chapter 4

**Hogwarts Rejection Letters**

**Lightning's Brother**

To Whom-it-may-concern

Is this letter a joke? Who are you trying to trick with this 'magic' crap? Everyone knows the only way to use magic is either with a mana-drive or becoming a L'cie. I hope you were talking about the former because if your trying to turn my little brother into a L'cie than I'll kill you.

Harry has lived with me and my sister Serah for nearly seven years now ever since he was found wandering some ruins near to Bodhum, our home. Even to this day we weren't able track down the scum that raised-and I use that term loosely-Harry, but if your connected to them than you best run because I won't show you any mercy.

Harry has no interest in your school, in fact he's doing very well at the academy, his skill both in mana-drives and as an engineer are astounding and have earned him a guaranteed place in the Guardian Corps should he choose that route.

In short Harry's fine and if you continue with this crap than we'll call charges down upon you, my squad-mates are rather fond of Harry too so they know if they see anyone who doesn't belong looking for him to apprehend them on site. Stay away from us and we'll do the same. Harry doesn't need a past he barely remembers being dragged back up.

Yours sincerely

Sergeant Claire 'Lightning' Farron

Harry's older sister and legal Guardian

Proud member of the GDC: Bodhum Division


	5. Chapter 5

**Hogwarts Rejection Letters**

**inFAMOUS Witch**

To-whom-it-may-concern

I am afraid I will have to decline your offer to attend your school as I am currently enjoying my new found freedom and ability to travel around the world without restrictions. You may find this odd but I will do my best to explain.

A few years ago a device known as a Raysphere went off in the heart of London and decimated about a third of the city killing many and empowering some of us with strange abilities. In my case it gave me many electricity based powers such as being able to fire lightning bolts from my hands as well as being able to jump off the top of tower block and walk away unscathed. I am unsure how the wizarding world managed to miss this though from what I've been told apparently the day the Raysphere went off any of your wards in London failed for a few seconds before becoming stable again, but otherwise you were insulated from the devastation. I also know many witches and wizards died that day trying to apprehend or punish those with powers (why they tried is anyone's guess) and this was labelled as a terrorist attack by your government and than promptly forgotten but never investigated.

After that day I was involved whether I liked it or not in helping to fix things and stop many of those who had gained powers from running amok and causing the loss of innocent lives. I was hated for some time due to my powers, but eventually people started to see me as a hero (which I don't mind much since it was something _I _did). However the situation is now contained and I am free (surprisingly) to go about as I please, the Queen herself in fact was the one to release me from my unofficial duty as London's Guardian.

Regardless I am no longer under any obligations to anyone and have decided to head abroad for a long, _long_ vacation and I do not know when I shall return. I have been informed by the Goblins that I am now legally emancipated and that I can access my money from any of their many branches so I won't have to worry about food or accommodation ever again.

So perhaps I will attend your school one day, but certainly not for a few years, so for now,

Yours Sincerely

Lady Harriet 'Harri' Lily Potter

P.S. If my friend Luna is harmed by any of your Headmasters schemes when she attends next year than I will personally level your school to the ground and with the complete support of Her Majesty, who is most displeased with your world as a whole.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hogwarts Rejection Letters**

**The-Boy-who-Looped**

Dear Professor McGonagall

First of all, let's get it straight that I am currently part of a time loop and have no need to attend Hogwarts for the hundredth time.

Good, now that's out of the way.

ARE YOU FREAKING INSANE!?

Why on earth would I want to attend a school where I'll have to deal with manipulative Headmasters, stupid politicians, brain-dead students who keep asking me about my scar, Ron Weasleys, Death nibblers and a potions master who only sees me as a carbon copy of my father but with my mothers eyes?

Don't bother heading to the Dursleys as I'm not there anymore. In fact at the time of you reading this letter I'm at a nudist resort in the south of France with some cute veela who like my accent.

Thanks for nothing

Harry James Potter

The-boy-who-lived-again-and-again…

(Several pages later)

…and-again-and-again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hogwarts Rejection Letters**

**Original 2 (**Until I think of a better title**)**

Dear Professor McGonagall

I am afraid I will NOT be attending Hogwarts in September as I know enough about magic and your world to know to stay far away from it.

It was on my eight birthday that I was first introduced to magic and your world by a vampire by the name of Claire. She was appalled at the conditions my relatives kept me in and the way they treated me. Apparently it's unusual for kids to sleep in the cupboard under the stairs or be able to cook a three course meal for their relatives and barely be able to reach the stove. Claire took me far away from the Dursleys and Britain and together the two of us travelled the globe, learning magic and having fun. I've seen some amazing things and met some amazing people such as the Flamels. Uncle Nick and Aunt Penny would like to know what Headmaster Dumbledore really intends to do with the stone they gave him by the way.

Currently I am in Japan learning magic at the Rising Sun Academy for Magic who start their courses at any age from eight onwards and an education here only takes five years since after first year they allow students to pick electives and drop courses they have no talent in. I just recently started at age eleven, but that isn't uncommon when children from Europe attend here. Personally I don't see why I needed to come, but Claire is friends with the Headmistress (a dark Elf by the name of Aegis Nightfall) and decided I needed to interact with people my own age. Oh well, at least its peaceful and safe, unlike Hogwarts apparently.

Did you know for example that despite your government's ridiculous claims Hogwarts doesn't even rank in the top fifty magical schools worldwide? Or that Hogwarts barely meets ICW regulations? Whilst on that subject, did you know that your government is in violation of ICW law at least a thousand times as many of your laws for supposed dark creatures are illegal? Believe it or not as a member of ICW Britain is subject to their laws and is magic bound to meet ICW requirements, Fudge and Dumbledore have done a good job of hiding the truth from them, but now they are aware and will be taking action. If my memory serves that means quite a few members of your government will be loosing their magic, what a shame. Not to mention, Her Majesty isn't too pleased with you wizards and witches either.

Just to compare, The Rising Sun Academy for Magic ranks in the ICW's top ten for magical school worldwide.

Anyway the point is I'm safe, happy and learning magic at standards much higher than your own. I have a fun, caring if not slightly overprotective guardian in my big sister Claire and most importantly I am being given the life that was almost stolen from me by your Headmaster's foolish delusions of grandeur.

Yours Sincerely

Harry James Klaus Potter-Bloodmoon

P.S. I do not believe in prophecies so if the Dark Lord who murdered my parents happens to somehow return, he is NOT my responsibility. I refuse to have to clean up your mess for you just because you people are too scared to face him yourselves. You made him, you deal with him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hogwarts Rejection Letters**

**Original 3**

To-whom-it-may-concern

I will not be attending Hogwarts this year or any year in your lifetime as I am quite dead and have no desire to spend any of my un-life with the idiots who thought leaving a magical child with people like the Dursleys would be a good idea.

You may be wondering if I'm dead than how I can be writing this letter to you. Simple, I'm a vampire. I was not turned by another like the trash that served your Dark Lord in the last war, no, instead I became a vampire all on my own when the ones you call Death Eaters took advantage of the near non-existent blood wards to attack my relatives home. Watching my Aunt, Uncle and cousin murdered before my eyes awoke my magic, caged for so long and it tore the murdering rapist scum apart. I had a choice than to die in a pool of blood or become something more. I drank their blood and discarded my humanity in favour of a future of my own design. I am a Nosferatu, a No-life Queen, A True Vampire and I have no desire to find a new set of shackles and bow down to you or your world's beliefs.

So now you know what happened when your world abandoned an orphan to an abusive home. You people honestly disgust me. Anyway the point is I will not be attending Hogwarts, at least not in your lifetime, but maybe in a few decades when your Ministry realises inbreeding is NOT a good idea and your Headmaster is long dead. Whether from old age or by my own hand will depend on whether he's foolish enough to come after me.

Yours Sincerely

Harriet 'Harri' Lilith Potter

P.S. Should your Dark Lord return he is of no concern of mine, but if he comes after me than I will happily devour him and add him to my collection of lives.

**Jbh14:** I recently watched Hellsing Ultimate X, so you can blame that for this. The only reason I'm putting it down as original is that apart from similar themes there's no real link to Hellsing, it just gave me some insight into how Vampires might work.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hogwarts Rejection Letters**

**French Connections**

Madame McGonagall

I am afraid I'm going to have to decline your invitation to attend Hogwarts as I am already set to attend Beauxbatons Academy of Magic and have been ever since Pierre Delacour rescued me from the Dursley family that your government placed me with. I have no desire to attend your school or ever set foot back in England again.

If you try to force me to attend than you will learn exactly what it means to be on the wrong side of an enraged teenage Veela. My older Sister Fleur is very protective of me you see and she is still upset about your Minister's pet toad implying she was a whore like her mother who had used her allure to force her father to marry her. As you can imagine neither of them took that well and you are lucky your governments stupidity has not caused an international incident by now.

I hope we never meet and would be grateful if you never contact me again.

Yours Sincerely

Harry James Potter-Delacour

P.S. I apologise if this letter is difficult to read, but it has been sometime since I had to use English. Fleur says it is a thrice-damned language that sounds like the grunting of pigs.

**Jbh14:** Standard Harry adopted and lives in France plot line. As you imagine Harry will avoid Britain like the plague, and probably won't end up there until Fourth Year (Tri-wizard tournament), although he might end up kidnapped and forced to attend. Depends on how manipulative I'd want to make Dumbledore really.

Credits to Rorschach's Blot and his Pet Compartment shot in Odd Ideas for the last bit.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hogwarts Rejection Letters**

**Original 4**

Dear Professor McGonagall

We decided to send this as a joint letter for our convenience so I will be writing like this and **I will be writing like this.**

Neither of us has any interest in your school as we are already up to fifth year level and will probably be sixth by the time your school starts in September. **Basically were better than you and your wizard raised purebloods.** Need I remind you that you're a pureblood, Blaise? **Shut up, Harry! **Okay, okay anyway if you come after us we will kill you. **Dramatic much, Harry?**

Nearly ten years ago my brother, Richard Potter was named the boy-who-lived **who comes up with these titles anyway? **Who knows, someone with no imagination probably; now where was I? Oh right, Richard was crowned savour and I was abandoned by my so called family the Potters to a life of hell at the hands of my so very loving relatives. **I swear Harry, one of these days your going to let me kill them. **They're not worth it Blaise. **No, but you are Harry. **

**Now than Harry was left with his relatives which I am still not happy about, and I was abandoned by my father who thought I was a squib after he beat my mother again. **Your father is so going to die one day Blaise. **Hypocrite much, Harry? **Shut up, Blaise. **Afterwards, Harry and I met up after his uncle dumped him in an orphanage and we've been friends ever since. **Your glossing over a lot there, ya know? **So, not like they need to know, do they? **

Needless to say we escaped that orphanage and thanks to Blaise's photographic memory was able to find Diagon where the goblins were _very_ helpful. **Seriously, were you that confident in your plan, Dumbles that not only did you allow Harry to go to an orphanage, but you let him speak to the goblins? Do you know how much you've pissed them off? **Whilst there we found out I was the heir to quite a few families such as a founder or two which I could claim easily since their family magic accepted me instantly. **Well mostly, the Le Fay ring wouldn't accept you without changing your gender. **Which is why I gave it to you Blaise. **Shame really, you would have looked cute as a girl and you know I'm not picky… **Moving on, I'm sure at least one of you has worked out the only way I could give Blaise the Le Fay ring was either to adopt her as my sister or marry her, try to guess which one we did. **Like they'd ever work it out, we got married, surprised? It really wasn't hard, given that we were so close, our magic had already bonded us together long ago, and marriage was just a formality. **

In short we're free of you completely and have discarded our old families, neither has any desire to even step foot in Hogwarts as long as the Light Lord resides there and we are happily on a beach _somewhere_. **Did you know you could use the Fidelius on an entire beach, because we didn't? **

**Also Albus you picked wrong. I bet you've had your doubts, but we know the prophecy and I never plan to let Harry anywhere near that fool of a Dark Lord. **She'd cripple me if I even suggested it just so you know.

So goodbye **forever**, have fun.

Harry Regulus Slytherin-Ravenclaw-Le Fay-Pendragon

**Blaise Annabelle Slytherin-Ravenclaw-Le Fay-Pendragon**


End file.
